Today we are writing a blog about our long distance relationship (LDR). We want to share some tips and tricks for other couples who are also in an LDR or for those of you who are just interested in how we do it.  

We also have a podcast on Spotify where you can learn even more about dealing with the challenges of being Long Distance.

I (Marthe) live in Amsterdam and Tash lives in London and we have to cross an ocean to see other. Fortunately it’s not a big ocean, but still big enough to miss each other like crazy. We actually met whilst surfing in Bali enjoying our mutual passion for the ocean, ironically it is now the ocean that keeps us apart (read here my version on how we met and here Tash’s version). However, we intend to see each other every 2 weeks, (you may think this is quite often). But when you are in love and at the beginning of your relationship, every minute apart feels like too long. When we see each other again it’s amazing and we have 24/7 quality time, but then saying goodbye again feels so unnatural. 

So here are our 10 tips and tricks on how to stay close and feel happy in a LDR

1. Plan your next trip

It’s very important to book your next trip so you know when you will be reunited again and to make sure you have something to look forward to. You can do the countdown together. When you don’t have a date planned you can often feel lost and insecure.   

2. Plan virtual dates together

t’s great to plan a video call where you both have the time to really talk to each other. Make sure you decide an exact time and don’t make the other person wait for you, that can be frustrating and annoying. You think all you can do is talk, but that’s not true. You can have a full date night. You can do a video call whilst cooking and after you can watch a movie together on Netflix. Press start at the same time and watch whilst you eat. Even crack open a bottle of wine and do a cheers 😉

3. Teach each other a skill

There is always something that the other person can do and you can’t. I am currently teaching Tash Dutch. We try to do this every day, this is not always possible, but plan a few sessions a week. It’s fun and you are using your time efficiently. Tash is teaching me how to sing and I love it! Don’t be shy to try because the other person really likes the effort. And one tip: don’t laugh when someone makes a mistake 😉 

4. Make a Spotify playlist together

When you are not together and the other person is not available to talk. Or when you just miss someone a lot, music is a comforting distraction. We made a Spotify playlist when we were travelling in Bali, we added every song that meant something to us. I listen to it often, it brings back good memories and you can add more songs that you stumble across along the way. Our playlist almost has 100 songs now, currently listening to it whilst writing this. 

5. Send each other voice notes, pictures and videos

I love it when I wake up and see my Whatsapp buzzing with messages from Tash. Especially when I have to wake up early and she is still asleep. Usually, she sends me a few videos and I can wake up seeing her face and hearing her voice. Other times when you plan to go out; share your outfit and take a picture of your food, so you get updated on each others lives. 

6. Share a passion

We love travelling and as you know we are currently busy with this blog and our new YouTube Travel Channel. We have a shared Instagram account and it’s amazing to do this together. It helps us stay connected and busy at the same time. When we do have free time, we are often talking about all our blog/vlog plans. We have discovered that we have the same work mentality and that we make great work partners too. It gives me a lot of motivation and fulfilment when we are not physically together; because it’s something we can share. I’m super excited for what’s to come.

7. Live your life

Sometimes it feels like the clock is standing still and time is not moving forward. Especially when you have days, weeks or even months to go through alone. Be aware that you are not missing out on life. Stay busy and plan fun things to do with your friends and family. When you are having a good time, it will feel like time is flying by. Sometimes we are both so busy with working and other activities, that we don’t have time to miss each other. However, when you do miss them, allow yourself to just miss them, it’s normal, so try to embrace it. Feel grateful that you have found a person you love so much, that it makes everything worth it. One more comforting fact: sometimes it feels like time stands still, but it never really does. 

8. Plan fun activities together, but not too much

When you see each other again it’s the best thing ever. Being in an LDR is giving you limited time. We always plan our days beforehand because it’s all the time we have. We visit friends, family, go out for dinner and do other activities. But don’t forget to have quality time for each other, sometimes it’s also nice to stay in and not have any plans, so you can do whatever you feel like on that day.

9. Communicate!

Being in an LDR requires a lot of patience and waiting, this can lead to feelings of frustration. When your partner feels “off”, stay patient and be sweet, because when you are on the phone, words are all you have. You will have to solve everything with talking, so communicate with each other. Say what’s on your mind, so your partner can help you. Sadness, frustration and missing one another is all part of it, and it’s normal to feel like that from time to time. If you are honest and open, you can talk about it and it will hopefully make you feel better. It will also make your relationship stronger in the end.

10. Say love!

This is a gushy one, but it really helps! Write each other love messages, cards, sing them a song and be cheesy, lovey and gushy. Bring a rose to the airport, surprise your loved one when he/she is coming over. You don’t have a lot of time, so spend your time being in love. One tip; when you are together it doesn’t always mean that everything is perfect. Don’t put too much pressure on everything going the way you planned, you’re still human. So arguments can still happen, just try to solve them fast so you can enjoy your time together as much as possible.

We hope these 10 tips/tricks will help you too!

Let us know your thoughts and if you have any more tips and tricks of your own!

Marthe 💚 

Want to find out how we met? Click Here!

Marthe

Originally from Amsterdam, I am now living in London with Tash, after we finally ‘Broke the Distance’. I love travelling and want to visit as many places as possible.